Holding on...

I just finished making ice bags which we sell for 3 pesos in the neighbourhood.

While everyone might be asleep already, I am still busy pondering on many things. It was a busy day but I enjoyed office even if I was on conference call almost the whole day.

On top of many issues is my monthly budget. I am still struggling on how to adjust, adjust and adjust the finances. Today, at sixteen past one in the morning, is the 15th of the month, it is payday! Everyone is rejoicing, they might be buying things they have desired for the past few days or weeks. Some of my friends have bought SLR camera, new touch screen phones, paid their condo but me, I just bought a water bottle for office use. I was told that I should buy something for myself, a friend told me. I kiddingly answered--I want to buy a house...which is true. Seriously, it striked me hearing this comment. It brought me many questions that I need to handle.

I could not deny that I envy my friends. They own their salary, and somehow I wish I was too...unfortunately, it is not the case. I am just and still human wanting to satisfy my own wants, to buy myself office clothes, perhaps to perm my hair...nothing but simple needs. Yes, I like to get a new phone too but I can dictate my mind not to because it is a sin to prioritise this over my family's needs.

With these issues in mind, I settled for one great truth. I have to accept and be thankful for whatever I have. I did! I am always trying and still winning this attitude!

I have gone so far. I have taken the bold steps that led me to where I am now. In my own way, I have accomplished enough things, enough reasons to celebrate!

I could not forget those days on my fourth year high that I have to work and clean comfort rooms just to add income to our family. The smell and the dirt plays clearly in my head even after almost a decade. When it was raining so hard, I could not even buy myself an umbrella and usually going home all wet. I was tired then..but I persevered.

Couple of years later, I worked in a fast food chain and inspite of the busy college schedule, I worked round the clock and found myself shouting for a rest. Thankfully, I never got sick though I failed in one of my majors but at least, I know why.

Graduation came and everyone enrolled for review. Me? Too busy hunting down jobs in Metro Manila. I got a job offer in Ortigas, however, for practical reasons, I declined it and preferred instead the company based in my hometown. Why? Because I did not need to worry about my daily fare. That was exactly 5 years, 1 month and 5 days ago when I first landed a decent job. I was just earning Php6,000 that time, no overtime pay for 12-hour shift up to saturday. I stayed and earned a good reputation from my colleagues.

From a tax ranging from 500-600 monthly five years ago, who would ever think I'm just throwing away 8 times of it now? It is a lot definitely! Life has changed a lot, for me and my family.

When I reminisce these, I can proudly say, I survived and still surviving!

Yes, I might not be able to buy the material things that I love to have but I know patience will reap its rewards in the future. There is always the right time for the right things...

What keeps me motivated? My family.

What keeps me smiling? My friends.

What keeps me strong? Faith.

At the end of every single day, I can hear R. Kelly singing "I believe I can fly."